Sexual Attraction and How to HAVE BETTER SEX

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If you have ever wondered why your SEX life has gone to the Dogs or you just can’t get that “loving Feeling” back perhaps you need to do your homework a little more.
Even the act of attempting to find out how to have better sex will create better Sex. One of the Main Methods of having and attaining Better SEX is MORE SEX!
The More SEX you have with your ‘WILLING’ partner, the more all those ‘FEEL GOOD’ Hormones and endorphins release into your brain giving you a sense of well being and happiness. Well yes, those NATURAL, ORGANIC ‘HIGHS’ are Addictive because we want to feel good again. So the more you have SEX with your lover, the more connected and intimate you become with your lover. Just do not forget to be an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY LOVER. ‘GIVE AND TAKE’ is the name of the game to have the best possible love making ever. Be prepared to satisfy your lover and they will want to satisfy you in return. However, there are other problems that can occur. Perhaps your partner has ANORGASMIA -which is the Inability to reach orgasm. There are exercises and techniques to over come this. (listed below).
This article will let you know how to reach your SEXUAL GOALS and heighten the ability to reach the Ultimate Orgasms.
Further Articles will also be posted soon.

If YOU want to have amazing SEX, be educated and prepared to give as much as you take. Don’t forget just because you are a giver and will spend hours GIVING PLEASURE that doesn’t mean your lover is just a TAKER. They may get frustrated if you do not allow them to give back and although you can’t understand why they don’t think you are the greatest lover ever, it might be because it also SELFISH to not allow your partner to LOVE you back and explore your body as they wish.

Psychology is everything when you are dealing with people, so THINK because you STINK (being a bad lover)!
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GOOD LUCK and feel free to ASK advice.
Kiss,
Taylor Wane
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STAGES OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION-

There are three distinct types or stages of “love”:
1-Lust, or erotic passion
2-Attraction, or romantic passion
3-Attachment, or commitment (OXYTOCIN-BONDING, The more Sex with that partner the more you bond, VASOPRESSIN – An antiduretic Hormone along with OXYTOCIN interfere with Dopamine and Norepinephrine, which is why passionate love fades as attachment grows).
Endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, also play a key role in long-term relationships. They produce a general sense of well-being, including feeling soothed, peaceful and secure. Like dopamine and norepinephrine, endorphins are released during sex; and induce a “drug-like dependency.”

*Sexologist John Money draws the line between love and lust in this way: “Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd.”
Pheromones, looks and our own learned predispositions for what we look for in a mate play an important role in whom we lust after, as well. Without lust, we might never find that special someone. But, while lust keeps us “looking around,” it is our desire for romance that leads us to attraction.

*ATTRACTION-

*ROMANTIC PASSION- overwhelming preoccupation and drive is part of our biology. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we’re releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the “pleasure chemical,” producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement.
functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) Scans showed increased BLOOD flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine — associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction. People in this love stage are noted to have lower levels of Serotonin which is found in people with OCD, explaining why they OBSESS about their partner and involve themselves in little else.

*Studies have shown that passionate love fades quickly and is nearly gone after two or three years. The chemicals responsible for “that loving’ feeling” (adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine, etc.) dwindle.

*YOU MAY WONDER- Why has he or she changed. Actually, your partner probably hasn’t changed at all; it’s just that you’re now able to see him or her rationally, rather than through the blinding HORMONES of infatuation and passionate love. At this stage, the relationship is either strong enough to endure, or the relationship ends.

*If the relationship can ENDURE, other chemicals kick in. Endorphins still provide a sense of well being and security. Additionally, OXYTOCIN is still released during sex and produce feelings of Satisfaction. Vasopressin also continues to play a role in attachment.
THIS IS WHY WHEN COUPLES FEEL THEY ARE GROWING APART, THEY NEED TO HAVE MORE INTIMACY WITH EACH OTHER TO STRENGTHEN THEIR DWINDLING BOND!!!!

Ways to create more INTIMACY!

**BREATHE WITH YOUR PARTNER WHILE CLOSING EYES AND BE STILL AND LOOK AT YOUR PARTNER

**TOUCH OR MASSAGE YOUR PARTNER

**KISS YOUR PARTNER
The Romans even came up with three different categories for kissing:
• Osculum was a kiss on the cheek
• Basium was a kiss on the lips
• Savolium was a deep kiss
HORMONES RELEASED DURING KISSING.
• Oxytocin, which helps people develop feelings of attachment, devotion and affection for one another
• Dopamine, which plays a role in the brain’s processing of emotions, pleasure and pain
• Serotonin, which affects a person’s mood and feelings
• Adrenaline, which increases HEART Rate and plays a role in your body’s fight-or-flight response

**SMELL

**TASTE

** LAUGHTER/HAVING FUN

**GIVING & RECEIVING PLEASURE

**SOUNDS

**MOVEMENT OR INCREASING BLOOD FLOW.

———————————————–

TWO TYPES OF ORGASM IN A FEMALE.
1.CLITORAL ORGASM
2. VAGINAL ORGASM
The nerves that are involved in the two different pelvic areas send different responses to the Brain..

• hypogastric nerve – transmits from the Uterus and CERVIX in women and from the PROSTATE in men
• pelvic nerve – transmits from the VAGINA and cervix in women and from the rectum in both sexes
• pudendal nerve – transmits from the clitoris in women and from the scrotum and penis in men
• vagus nerve – transmits from the cervix, uterus and vagina

SO DURING FOREPLAY OR SEX, IT IS IMPORTANT TO STIMULATE BOTH THE CLITORIS AND VAGINA TO CREATE THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE IN YOUR PARTNER.
A GOOD EXAMPLE WOULD BE THAT YOU WOULD NOT JUST WANT YOUR LOVER TO TOUCH YOUR SCROTUM AND FORGET YOUR PENIS… You probably prefer both stimulated.

EVEN PEOPLE WITH SPINAL INJURIES OR PARAPLEGICS CAN REACH ORGASM, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE PROBABLY TOLD THEY COULD NOT.

VAGUS nerve in women BYPASSES THE SPINAL CORD, therefore, with DEEP VAGINAL or Cervical STIMULATION, a women could reach orgasm, just not a CLITORAL ORGASM.

———————

Some of the brain areas impacted by pleasure include:
• amygdala – regulates emotions
• nucleus accumbens – controls the release of dopamine
• ventral tegmental area (VTA) – actually releases the dopamine
• cerebellum – controls MUSCLE Function
• pituitary gland – releases beta-endorphins, which decrease PAIN oxytocin, which increases feelings of trust; and vasopressin, which increases bonding

***DURING AN ORGASM In both sexes, the brain region behind the left eye, called the lateral orbitofrontal cortex, shuts down during orgasm. “It’s the seat of reason and behavioral control. But when you have an orgasm, you lose control” Dr. Gert Holstege stated that the brain during an orgasm looks much like the brain of a person taking heroin.

***ALL OF THIS EXPLAINS WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE SEX ADDICTS. These feelings are replicating feelings of EUPHORIA (feeling of happiness or pleasure and well being) similar to Drugs.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN DURING SEX-
When a woman has sex, a part of the brain stem called the periaqueductal gray (PAG) is activated. The PAG controls the “flight or fight” response. Women’s brains also showed decreased activity in the amygdala and hippocampus, which deal with Fear & anxiety. The team theorized that these differences existed because women have more of a need to feel safe and relaxed in order to enjoy sex. In addition, the area of the CORTEX associated with pain was activated to show the difference between pain and pleasure.

———–
ANORGASMIA (the inability to reach orgasm)

SSRIs, or selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors- zoloft, pail, celexa, anxiety drugs. DECREASE THE PRODUCTION OF DOPAMINE. the neurotransmitter that provides pleasurable feelings.

Some studies show that women with ANORGASMIA when giving an MRI of the Brain, showed that the brain actually thinks it is constantly receiving pleasure therefore she cannot reach a state of being that will in fact give her an Orgasm… READING EROTICA can exercise the brain to calm down and act to activity in a different way.

RESEARCH shows that people can infect have Orgasms from being touched in other area’s of the body.

Touching the nipples sends the same messages to the brain as being touched on the genitals. Sometimes also in hands and feet.
HENSE FOOT FETISH and other ‘fetishes’ which are actually completely normal nerve responses but less talked about or even examined or incorporated into sex play…

APHRODISIACS- elements that evoke or stimulate sexual desire.
Foods, drugs (viagra) , scents

TESTOSTERONE in both men and women.

Women (and men) with a higher sex drive have more TESTOSTERONE than a woman or man with Low sex drive.

How it works
A chain reaction begins when something external that we encounter that stimulates us.
A signal is sent from the LIMBIC LOBE of the BRAIN, via the Nervous system to the PELVIC REGION.
These signals tell the blood vessels to dilate. This creates and ERECTION, in both men and women. Penis for a man and clitoris and vaginal region.

Once the ERECTION is produced then the VESSELS CLOSE to maintain the BLOOD in that region. the Erection is accompanied by rapid heart rate. The brain released NOREPINEPHRINE, DOPAMINE, NEUROTRANSMITTERS to tell our bodies this is GOOD!

Alcohol and MARIJUANA also create or allow the desire to have sex.

SOME EXAMPLES OF APHRODISIAC’S.

ANISEED- has ESTROGENIC COMPOUNDS (female hormones) which induce similar effects to testosterone.

ASPARAGUS- high in VITAMIN B known as folate that aids in increasing production of HISTAMINE. Histamine is important for healthy sex drive. Histamine is an organic compound that acts as a NEUROTRANSMITTER. Histamine allows the flow of fluids in the capillaries.

BASIL- known to stimulate sex drive and fertility and a sense of well being. The Scent of Basil is said to drive men wild.

CARDAMOM- Aromatic Spice. Its a powerful Aphrodisiac and can be beneficial in treating IMPOTENCE. Its high in Cineole, which can increase BLOOD FLOW in area’s that it is applied.

CHOCOLATE- Cacao tree is called the FOOD OF THE GODS. Chocolate phenylethylamine and serotonin, which are both “feel good” chemicals. chocolate may also contain substances that have the same effect on the brain as marijuana. The substance is a neurotransmitter called anandamide. The amount of anandamide in chocolate is not enough to get a person “high” like marijuana, but it could be enough to contribute to the good feelings that serotonin and phenylethylamine produce.

CHILI PEPPERS- Eating chili peppers generates physiological responses in our bodies (e.g., sweating, increased heart rate and circulation) that are similar to those experienced when having sex.

Garlic
Long ago, Tibetan monks were not allowed to enter the monastery if they had been eating garlic because of its reputation for stirring up passions. Garlic increases circulation.

LICORICE- was found that the smell of black licorice increased the blood flow to the penis by 13 percent. When combined with the smell of doughnuts, that percentage jumped to 32.

Nutmeg
In ancient China, women prized nutmeg an aphrodisiac, and researchers have found it to increase mating behaviors in mice. There is no evidence to prove the same happens in humans. In quantity, nutmeg can produce a hallucinogenic effect.
MACA. Known as Peru’s Natural VIAGRA. Natural root that enhances strength, stamina, energy, fertility and libido.
Oysters
­Romans documented oysters as aphrodisiacs in the second century A.D. They are known to be high in zinc, which has been associated with improving sexual potency in men. (An additional hypothesis is that the oyster resembles the female genitals.) Recently, mussels, clams and oysters have been found to contain D-aspartic acid and NMDA (N-methyl-D-aspartate) compounds may be effective in releasing sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen.
Papaya
Papaya (like aniseed) is estrogenic, meaning it has compounds that act as the female hormone estrogen. It has been used as a folk remedy in promoting menstruation and milk production, facilitating childbirth and increasing the female libido.
Pine nuts
People have been using pine nuts to stimulate the libido since Medieval times. Like oysters, they too are high in zinc. Pine nuts have been used for centuries to make up love potions. The Arabian medical scholar Galen recommended eating one hundred pine nuts before going to bed.
PUMPKIN SEEDS- High in ZINC essential for sperm production and testosterone in men. Loaded with libido Vitamins an dmin
Water Melon-
can have a Viagra effect on blood vessels throughout the body and may increase libido. contains citrulline amino acid. Citruline is good for the cardiovascular system and helps relax the blood vessels that increase sex drive.

Aphrodisiac Supplements
Arginine
Arginine is an amino acid found in meat, nuts, eggs, coconut milk and cheese. It forms nitric oxide in the body, which increases blood flow to the genitals. Arginine, when combined with other supplements, is said to enhance sexual desire in women.
Epimedium
According to pharmacognosist Albert Leung, Ph.D., and Arkansas herbalist Steven Foster, the epimedium herb has been proven to improve the sexual function of male animals in experiments. It acts somewhat as an androgen (sex hormone) and might stimulate sexual desire in women who are androgen-deficient.
Fennel
Fennel is reported to increase the libido of both male and female rats. Fennel has compounds that mimic the female hormone estrogen. However, in doses greater than about a teaspoon, it can be toxic!
Ginseng
Ginseng is another long-touted aphrodisiac. Recently, the Journal of Urology reported, “the Mean International Index of Erectile Function scores were significantly higher in patients treated with Korean red ginseng than in those who received placebo.” In animal studies, ingesting ginseng doesn’t appear to have an immediate effect on testosterone levels, but the ginseng may trigger other mechanisms that lead to increased performance and libido.
Rhino horn
Rhino horn is primarily fibrous tissue with fairly large amounts of calcium and phosphorus. Since low levels of these minerals can lead to weakness and general fatigue, taking large doses of these elements could increase stamina if levels were low to begin with. It’s understandable, then, how it could have historically appeared to be an aphrodisiac (in addition to its resemblance to an erect penis). People who didn’t have deficiencies of those minerals wouldn’t have seen the same affect.
Spanish fly
Probably one of the most famous aphrodisiacs is Spanish fly. It is made from a beetle that secretes an acid-like juice, called cantharidin, from its leg joints when threatened. Because it would be more difficult to remove just the juice, the entire beetle is dried and crushed to produce the powder. When Spanish fly powder is ingested, the body excretes the cantharidin in the urine. This causes intense irritation and burning in the urogenital tract, which then leads to itching and swelling of the genitals. This swelling and burning was once assumed to be sexual arousal and led to the belief that Spanish fly had aphrodisiac qualities. But cantharidin is highly toxic. The kidneys suffer inflammation as well and can be permanently damaged. Spanish fly can cause severe gastrointestinal disturbances, convulsions and even death.
Yohimbe
Yohimbe is used both as an herbal aphrodisiac and in a prescription drug used for erectile dysfunction in men. It comes from bark stripped from a West African evergreen tree. Yohimbine, the primary active ingredient of yohimbe, blocks alpha-2 adrenergic receptors and increases dilation of blood vessels, which are both involved in achieving and maintaining an erection. The herbal form of yohimbe can be dangerous if taken in the wrong quantities.

SCENTS

Scents
Scents have a powerful affect when it comes to romance. The memory of a scent of a romantic partner can stay with us long after the romance is gone — so much so that when we run across the scent years later, we’re immediately taken back with a flood of feelings and memories. Does that mean that scent is an aphrodisiac?
STUDIES show that the smell of Lavender and Pumpkin Pie increased blood flow by 40 %. And the smell of Licorce combined with the scent of CUCUMBER created the greatest increase in blood flow to the vagina.

SOUNDS
MUSIC- Music can set the mood or destroy the mood. The effective element of music is the memory we associate with it. It is wise to find out what music your sexual partner has a fondness for in a romantic/sensual/stimulating way.

EXERCISE- Not only is it good for your health but its GREAT for your sex life. . According to Discovery Health, the aphrodisiac qualities of exercise are associated with the endorphins that are released in the brain with vigorous activity — like the runner’s high. Endorphins are those “feel good” chemicals. Other aphrodisiac affects of exercise come from exercises that increase blood flow to the genitals. These exercises position the body in various ways that stimulate blood flow and can improve sexual abilities and desire.
EXERCISE AND BUILDING MUSCLE usually increases TESTOSTERONE levels. which means higher sex drive!

Whether they work or not, even if the effects of these aphrodisiacs are a PLACEBO EFFECT. Studies show that just by THINKING about these things and ways to enhance sex WORK! Just the effort you are putting in to make your sex life better means it will be better.

SEXUAL INTELLIGENCE
“Planting a seed” or “Power of Suggestion” comes to mind here. If you gently but repetitively ‘suggest’ something over time it may become so. However, the most effective way of getting what you want is to make someone believe it was their idea all along. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY works, along with reinforcement and praise. For example you could say
” when I spoke to you a while back and you mentioned _____________, I was just flooded at what an amazing,or exciting idea that was. How do you come up with these brilliant idea’s”. I wish i could think of things like that!.

When you force YOUR idea on someone, it never seems to go over as well as you telling them how AMAZING THEY ARE FOR THINKING OF IT. People LOVE to feel adequate and smart. FEED THEIR EGO’S and you will get what you desire.

so, it is important to FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, however, it is just as IMPORTANT to make your lover feel ‘special and unique”.

Feed your lovers ego and they will love how SPECIAL they feel with you, this in itself is an APHRODISIAC

One thought on “Sexual Attraction and How to HAVE BETTER SEX

  1. Topic suggestion:
    -starting a relationship, turning a stranger into a partner (right and wrong way, pick up lines)
    -heigene for men and wemon, when you look good you feel good
    -penis vs. vibrator, man vs machine

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